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Submitted on
January 12, 2008
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“How are you?”
“Honestly? I feel like I’m dying.”
“That’s never good.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I doubt I could if I tried.”
“Do you think that—?”
“Hold up! You have an ant on your cheek.”
“Get it off!”
“Alright, alright, relax!”
“I can’t believe I didn’t feel it…”
“Shit!”
“What?”
“I killed it.”
“Kain!”
“Sorry!”
“It only wanted to be on my cheek!”
“Why would it want to be there? I probably put it out of its misery.”
“That’s not funny! It liked me because I smell good.”
“Apparently died because you smell good.”
“So I do smell good, then?”
“Just be quiet and watch the sunset.”
“I’m tired of sunsets. I want to see a sun rise; they seem more rare, and happy.”
“That’s ridiculous. Sun rises happen as much as sunsets.”
“Yeah, but less people stay up to watch them. I think I might stay up all night to see tomorrow’s. Do you want to?”
“Not really. I have to leave in ten minutes.”
“Have you ever watched the sun rise? Not just been awake, but intentionally watched the sun rise?”
“Just once.”
“Why.”
“I wanted to get my mind off of something.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Why are you so talkative all of a sudden?”
“I was just thinking about the ant. I don’t want to die an ant.”
“You’re not dying anytime soon.”
“You never know when you’ll crawl onto the wrong cheek.”
“Hmmm.”
“It is pretty, though, the sunset. The way the crimson bounces off the clouds.”
“Yeah.”
“I wish it lasted longer.”
“If it did I don’t think I’d be as pretty.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Look, I have to go, or I’ll be late.”
“Do you really have to leave?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Happy birthday, Mia. I hope you feel better.”
“Thanks, me too. See you later.”
“See you.”
“Umm, are you going, or are just going to stand there?”
“It was you.”
“Excuse me?”
“My first sun rise. I was worried about you.”
“Could you-- could you stay? Please?”
“I don’t think I was leaving.”
I literally just finished writing this. I started at about 12:30 and now the room is starting to spin, it's so late. I love it. I wish I could stay up this late all the time, because I feel so natural.
About this. I got the idea for this piece a little after 12 and just started writing it. I love stories in pure dialogue, but I've never tried it before. The idea is that you establish character, relationship, and setting using only dialogue. I hope it's not cheesy, but everyone needs some good cheese every once in a while.
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:iconjohnbjuice:
a little cliche never hurt

but it feels genuine, and it is touching, so A+
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:iconn0n1337-dude:
Meh, what are ya gonna do? However, Opera DS supports DA quite nicely!

IE CE and Opera DS, one has Javascript, te other doesn't. Oh well.
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:iconn0n1337-dude:
Wow, hearing about it sure makes me wish I could read it, but IE CE doesn't ssupport Deviant Art. Go figure.
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:iconkairis-shadow:
kairis-shadow Jan 12, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
That really sucks. Hope it gets fixed soon! ><
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:iconkairis-shadow:
kairis-shadow Jan 12, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
Wow, it's beautiful!! I've actually never read a story made up of just quotes, but I've always liked the idea. It's so adorable!! I know you never played Kingdom Hearts, but it reminded me of a couple, maybe more, characters that really affected me emotionally. I love the ending too, really amazing. Keep writing and posting, it doesn't matter how many comments, it matters that you know that you're appreciated by the quality of the comments. =D :heart:
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:iconzombielovelie:
ZombieLovelie Jan 12, 2008   Traditional Artist
Thanks Allis!
I'm so honored that it reminds you of Kingdom Hearts cause I know it's so special to you!
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:iconkairis-shadow:
kairis-shadow Jan 12, 2008  Student Traditional Artist
Sure! I'm glad you feel honored. -^^-
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:iconsesshys-grl:
sesshys-grl Jan 12, 2008  Hobbyist Artist
this is like, expensive aged stinky cheese that only rich people buy :D >.> that was a compliment if you were wondering.... lol
but really, I liked it. Our english teacher (who is a bee with an itch) always rants about how good writers take pages and pages just to write about the setting (like john steinbeck and devoting a whole 6 pages to describing a feild -.-) and if you don't write like that than the writing is crap, and worthless. she always makes me so mad when she makes assumptions like that because I could vividly see this scene so perfectly with so few words. so thank you ^_^ for proving my teacher wrong and writing this.
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:iconzombielovelie:
ZombieLovelie Jan 12, 2008   Traditional Artist
Thank you!
Proving people wrong is one of the many great yet unappreciated things in life XD
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:iconsnickerdoooodles:
this is very very good. i've never seen a story like this before and i have to say you definitely caught my attention and kept it throughout the story. good job. :yum:
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